Whelp, here we ago again, it’s another Five Minute Friday! And the word for this week is Afraid…
Sometimes I am afraid to be me.
Afraid that I’m not good enough.
Afraid that my thoughts, feelings, hopes, dreams, ideas…aren’t good enough.
Just this week I was reading a book that I think described me almost perfectly. It said something to the extent that we live our lives cut off from our true selves. We live our days filling our minds with other people’s ideas. Other people’s feelings. Other people’s dreams and desires, that we get lost, and don’t even realize that we don’t have any of our own…
I have been trying for the past few days to live my own life, not what I think my life should be, or what other people’s lives are. But my own. I have been waking up early, just to be. It is kind of a weird thing to do and yet, I really like it. I just wake up, feel myself breathing and realize that I am real. I am alive! And I try to be in the moment. It is amazing how many distractions happen. How many things try to take that moment away from me. Thoughts about all sorts of things. Lists of things to do. Regrets. Desires. etc. etc. etc. It is exhausting. And yet it is refreshing to try to take yourself away from all that, and just breath. To realize that we are somebody who is separate from all of those things, and that we can choose to be distracted by those things, or we can also choose to push those things aside (for a time) and just live.
Just live and be without being afraid.