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The word for this week is Rest.
Sometimes I wish that I could rest. totally and completely. Sometimes I think my body is cursed. Completely unable to relax when it is time to relax, and unable to rest when it is time to rest. I am always worried about something. Thinking about something. Preoccupied by something. But I need rest. Desperately. I am aching for rest. I wish that I knew how to find it. I’m trying to find it. I’ve stopped eating sugar, and that has given my headaches rest. I’ve started to meditate and that has given my mind some rest (though I’m not very good at it yet). I’ve been visiting the chiropractor…hoping to give my body a rest. Maybe the answers will come…slowly the answers are coming. To be at peace with your own life, with your own story, with your own family, with your own self. That is rest. And maybe it takes a whole lifetime to figure it out. I just turned 30 and for whatever reason I always imagined I would have figured things out by now. But I haven’t. I’m still a lot the same as I was when I was 12. Just a girl, doing the best she can, with what she’s got.