Have you ever sat down to pick a single word for the year? I guess it is now the latest, greatest, newest thing in terms of New Years Resolutions; though my husband’s Grandmother has been doing it for a long long time. Maybe it was a fad when she was growing up, and it is now finally cycling through again? Or maybe she was the source of the original idea :-) Either way, I like it. I like it a lot.
Instead of setting a goal, or lots of goals, you simply pick a single word. Something that will inspire you, and help to keep you focused. A word that will help, to daily remind you, to keep trying to improve yourself or your life in some way. A shorter, but perhaps more powerful, and definitely more simple kind of New Years resolution.
This year I have chosen the word:
So why the word Choose???
A few months ago, I was having a hard time sleeping and I was listening to a meditation tape that my mom gave me a few years ago. It was supposed to help you relax. I had listened to it for multiple nights in a row, and it seemed to be helping me quite a bit. One night though it dawned on me what the lady on the tape was actually saying. It will be hard to explain without having you actually listen to the tape…but basically, she started out by saying:
“The essence of who you are is not your body, because you can control your body at least to some extent…The essence of who you are is not your thoughts, because you can control your thoughts…The essence of who you are is not your emotions, because you can control your emotions.”
She went on like this, and as she was speaking, as a listener you were supposed to strip those things from your conscience. At the end you were left with only your authentic, true, inner self. And who was that self? What was it, if it was not the body, the thoughts, the emotions…
“This part of you, this part of each of us…is the part within you that has the power to direct and control the many forces that otherwise would take charge of your life. It is the whole that make sense of the varied, contradictory parts of your personality. It is the part of you that chooses. It is the I, in the statement I AM..It is your life force. It is your Spirit. It is the essence of your life. That which makes you what you are. Your fundamental nature.”
I don’t think I have ever understood the word free agency as well as I understood it that night. It hit me like a ton of bricks! Free agency is who I am! Literally. It isn’t just something I have been given by God, it is myself. My actual person. My being. And if Satan had won during that great Battle in Heaven. I would have lost myself…not just my power to choose. I would have become a nobody, a thing. And that is why our free agency is SO IMPORTANT! Because I am the power to choose. And everything…literally everything is a choice. What freedom!!!
I guess there are things in everyone’s life, that they will experience, that will make life seem more clear. That will make life seem that much more meaningful. I can’t get these thoughts out of my head. I have been dwelling on them almost constantly. They seem to apply to every aspect of my life.
I used to believe that things were a certain way and some things could not be changed.
“I can’t be happy, because I’m depressed.” That would probably be one of my biggest examples. It used to bother me when I would ask my husband how I could be happier, and he would say, “Just choose to be happy.” uh. right. Like it could really be that simple.
But it is.
It is that simple. But it is also that hard.
It is a choice.
And I have the power to choose.
But choices aren’t always easy, even if they are right. (And they can be especially difficult if you have spent your life thus far, not really making any.)
In fact choices can be the hardest things we ever do. They can hurt. They can especially hurt our pride. They can humble us. And being humbled doesn’t feel good. At least I don’t think it ever feels good. I hate being told I’m wrong, or that it was my fault. I hate being told I didn’t understand, or I wasn’t really listening. I definitely don’t like being told I can’t have what I want. I hate waiting. But, some of the choices we have to make…will cause these things to happen. And it wont necessarily be fun.
But, I think it will be liberating.