May 17, 2013
by Anne
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Five Minute Friday: Song

I think I have now cheated about 5 times with this five minute friday. I cannot for the life of me figure out what I want to write about the word song? What does it mean to me? What stories do I have to tell? literally nothing is coming to mind…

I think somewhere inside of me there is a song just waiting to burst out. Waiting for me to belt out at the top of my lungs. I often have dreams where I am in a play…a musical…and somehow, I have the lead roll. And amazingly I am able to sing, incredibly well and loud (not at all like me in real life). It is weird, that that dream just came to me. I have had that dream a number of times. I wonder what it means.

They say that the dreamer is the only one who is able to decipher the true meaning of their own dream. I guess that makes sense.

Maybe it represents my potential?  My capacity to do more than I think I can. Maybe it represents a weakness that can be made strong, even though it seems completely illogical that it could be made strong…

Do dreams really have meanings?

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May 10, 2013
by Anne
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Five Minute Friday: Comfort

There are a few things in life that I have always allowed to give me comfort. When I am having a bad day I always allowed myself to be comforted by food. Big bags of m&m’s, yummy oreos with a tall glass of milk etc. And giving up sugar (back in December) was like taking away my comfort blanket. I also allow myself to find comfort in media. There’s nothing better than turning on a movie to wash your worries away. To escape from the real world. Or not to mention turning on the computer and zoning out on Facebook, or pinterst. I’ve tried to stop that too…and it is hard. Hard to leave the digital world and live, present, and alive in the real world. Lately, I’ve realized that I find comfort in another way. I have been trying to think more positive thoughts, and I have found that I find comfort in the negative ones. They are what I have always known. They are safe…or so they seemed. It is hard to be happy when all you want it to be sad.  It is hard to forgive when you feel like the person you are forgiving doesn’t deserve it. It is hard to leave the feelings you have always clung to, and let them go…because I really don’t know what to expect. It doesn’t feel safe, and yet I know it is. It has to be safer than what I have known. It has to be safer than all the meanness that I’ve clung to in the past. I am coming to realize that my old comforts aren’t good, and it is time I find and start to cling to the real comforter…not the illusions…it is time to let go, and be truly comforted.

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May 9, 2013
by Anne
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Is It Possible To Stop Complaining?

I don’t know about you, but I always kind of hated those church talks that went something like this:

“And my mother, who had been bed ridden for a number of years never once complained…”

“And even though she was given more than her fair share of challenges, she didn’t complain…ever.”

“And even when she lost the use of her right leg and then she suddenly went blind, and then her favorite dog died all in the same week, she had so much faith that she never murmured even the tiniest complaint.”

…I guess I never found those kind of talks to be motivational, they mostly just made me feel guilty, because I complain about lots of stuff, lots. And I complain about things that are much less…well…life altering.

A few days ago I read a quote and it basically posed this question: Do people complain because they are unhappy? Or are they unhappy because they complain? 

It got me thinking.

For the past few weeks or so, I have really been trying to turn my normal pessimistic attitude into a positive one. I have been filling my mind with positive affirmations, listening to positive meditations, reading books about positive thinking…and I honestly think it is helping me to be a more happy person (which is something I desperately need right now…).

I’ve been doing pretty good with it, I think (for a life long pessimist).

But then, last night I started complaining.

It started off with me teasing my husband, joking around about some of the things I wanted him to get done around the house. I made one little comment, and then I thought of something else. So I made another comment, and that one led to another and then another. Until my mouth was just spilling out complaints and it really seemed like I could go on for-ev-er!  It was weird. It was like that first comment was a little trickle of water, a little drop in a bucket. But as soon the water started to spill, there was no way to stop it. It started gushing out, pouring out until the bucket was overflowing. All of a sudden I started to feel angry and upset, a little bit hurt and offended. It started off as just a comment, just an itty bitty complaint, nothing to be angry about. And wow, it turned into something a lot bigger. It was eye opening for me as I watched it all unfold.

As I allowed myself to complain I could feel my happiness draining out of me along with each complaint. 

I guess what I am trying to say, is that maybe all those talks about incredible women who are so full of faith and hope and love and NO COMPLAINING when things got tough, maybe they figured out this little secret a little faster than I did. Maybe they chose happiness over misery and that happiness began with their choice to not complain. Maybe they knew that if they started to complain they wouldn’t be able to stop. Maybe they knew that if they complained they would lose their faith and their happiness and their hope.

I think my whole life I have thought people who didn’t complain were just these super human people who were born with such an incredible positive outlook on life…they were lucky…and it would be impossible (in every sense of the word) to be like them. But I think now, that maybe I just had it backwards. Maybe it doesn’t take an incredibly happy person to not complain, maybe it takes an incredibly good non-complainer to be happy.

You know what the opposite of complaining is?

Being Grateful. 

Just something to think about :-)

May 3, 2013
by Anne
3 Comments

Five Minute Friday: Brave

I AM BRAVE.

This week I have been writing positive affirmations on sticky notes and putting them up all over my house. It is my attempt to become a more positive thinker…and kick all the pessimistic thoughts I have out of my mind, by replacing them with positive ones. It is funny, because I think so often we view attributes as things we hope we will have someday, and we don’t give ourselves credit for the ways they are already witnessing themselves in our lives today and now. I could say: “I hope I will be brave someday” but the truth is, I can be brave now, I am brave now. Especially if I think I am brave. I am brave enough to wake up each day, and do my best. I am brave enough to try to change my life. I am brave enough to trust 100% in my Father in Heaven that things will all work out for the good. It is amazing how much our thoughts can change who we are right now, without even having to wait until tomorrow. I can be brave today if I think I am, and if I act in accordance to those beliefs. Crazy but true. Try it.

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March 15, 2013
by Anne
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Five Minute Friday: Rest

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The word for this week is Rest.

Ready,

Go:

Sometimes I wish that I could rest. totally and completely. Sometimes I think my body is cursed. Completely unable to relax when it is time to relax, and unable to rest when it is time to rest. I am always worried about something. Thinking about something. Preoccupied by something. But I need rest. Desperately. I am aching for rest. I wish that I knew how to find it. I’m trying to find it. I’ve stopped eating sugar, and that has given my headaches rest. I’ve started to meditate and that has given my mind some rest (though I’m not very good at it yet). I’ve been visiting the chiropractor…hoping to give my body a rest. Maybe the answers will come…slowly the answers are coming. To be at peace with your own life, with your own story, with your own family, with your own self. That is rest. And maybe it takes a whole lifetime to figure it out. I just turned 30 and for whatever reason I always imagined I would have figured things out by now. But I haven’t. I’m still a lot the same as I was when I was 12. Just a girl, doing the best she can, with what she’s got.

Stop.